A Life Story.

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each and every day, theres a couple out there,

im not saying i wish there were less,

i wish i had what they had,

similarly to what you have.

but i lost my chance.

maybe there are more to come, maybe there arent.

i've always been like this. that one guy, or not.

if i'm out, i just, theres all these pretty people,

i feel like, i dont belong,

and i'd never forget, this time at viet school.

told john to visit me and my friends away from his group, but frankly, i was too fat to be a friend of his and he didnt visit,

yea, such a positive thumbs up right?

but people see things in different lights,

and unfortunately, my pessimism, makes me who i am,

sometimes i just want it to go away, or more of all the time,

but its the way i think.

i really dont see it,

i dont see these great qualities.

one guy can mean a lot.

you love a guy with everything youve got,

even if its a short time, if its a long time,

you wouldnt even want to go there.

and i know youve been through it before,

but there are different circumstances and what not.

which means different experiences,

different opinions, different feelings,

and in my case, he fell out of love with me,

wouldnt you think, it couldve been something you did,

something you are? well, thats what i felt.

and im really not sure why, so i still feel it.

it may have hurt him, but it hurt me too.

and losing the guy you love,

knowing he's moved on,

its like daggers stabbing my heart again and again, just for fun.

sometimes i just want it to end.

its the chicken way out, yea,

but it just hurts a lot.

those many times i felt suicidal.

i have always backed down,

i was researching my ass off about suiciding, and the way there were.

yea, even an overdose of panadol/panamax, of like, maybe 100 tablets? or something,

in 24 hours, youd be dead.

there was one of my plans.

and i cant right now, i cant.

but that urge, its just there.

he was my life for so long,

2 years felt like 5,

now that it cant be, i just, im not there yet.

i dont say these things to argue,

im not really the arguing type,

each night i try to hold back tears.

but they still fall.

its been two months,

and i do thank you for the support youve given me,

but break ups, also need to be realised and accepted by the individual, i guess

to forgive, but not forget.

thats where i'm aiming,

and yea, im having a tough time.

and i feel like im really off track,

but slowly somewhat getting there,

DEARYOU.
You're here on JENN's page. Jenn, 16, Sydney, Female! Visit my youtube channel! RIGHT HERE!
Now, Enjoy what you see,
Maybe, you wont.
Wont matter too much, its not that fun anyways
Just, DO WHAT YOU LIKE :D

So, here will be pretty much a list of the things i want, and i'll cross off as i go :)
it may be actual thing things, or something i'd like to achieve, yea. something in that sense! got it? i think i do B1 ! :)

→ try sorbet, mango? strawberry? passionfruit?
→ ~~get my license~~
→ get a pair of those black striped undies that match my new bra - 11/07/2010 - $26.95
→ ~~a guitar 3/4-size so that it fits well with my tiny body :D i wanted to get the half but realised how small it would be x)~~
→ ~~a canon camera, the IXUS 130 IS looks pretty good :D the black one :) $296~~
→ a polaroid branded camera, not the old ones, but it prints out still nicely and all :) pogo something something :)
→ do quite well in year 11
→ go on an aeroplane :)
→ ~~domo bag at jay jays! :) 34.95 :(~~
→ domo jumper
→ i need more pictures to stick up on my wall. i want my new woah 2010 to have some good moments too, those moments must be captured!
→ another packet of glow in the dark stars :D
→ ~~justin bieber signed photo that i was winning until they took it down off ebay :( meanniees! i still like his music okayyy :$~~
→ ~~CLEAR UMBRELLA~~
→ MONSTERS INC! + in 2012, watch monsters inc 2
→ ~~case for my new camera~~
→ UP
→ cool fat shoes :D
→ learn to play guitar
→ ~~pretty bonds undies :D~~
→ rayban new wayfarer - BLACK AND "TORTOISE"
→ a hat collection, aka ALL THOSE LOVELLYY HATS AT PARRA. NEW ERA x3
→ vans, purple+black, ~~black+white~~, bright-ishblue+white, full black ones, full white ones
→ colourful adidas shoes x3
→ black 2.55 chanel lambskin quilted bag, the one with the silver chain, as well as the one with the gold chain :$
→ glow in the dark stars EVERYWHERE
~~i'll think of more later, BYE!~~